I mentioned in my last post that I was down another pound since finishing the Jumpstart to Skinny. And today, I am down almost another full pound. I weighed in this morning at 157.4. I can’t even believe it. I think the last time that I weighed this little was in high school when I ran cross-country.
There’s something so thrilling about it.
I feel renewed. Transformed. God has done such an incredible work on the inside of me throughout this entire journey. I have such big dreams. Dreams that I know are impossible without Him. And knowing He has helped me overcome the most difficult mountain of my life, gives me an increased level of faith that with Him all things are possible. And those dreams….those dreams will come to fruition with His help, His power, His strength. Because honestly, I am not capable on my own.
I feel the struggle of perfection from time to time. Have you ever felt that? Its a feeling that you can’t even start unless you know you can finish it. It’s like you can’t even try if there’s even a small chance that it won’t work. I didn’t know that I could finish this weight loss journey when I started. I had so many doubts and fears. I feared failing just one more time. I feared being a failure. I feared so much. I don’t live in that place of fear anymore. I live in a place of hope, peace, love. Because I have a God who loves me.
There’s a lot of societal pressure to conform with what is accepted and “normal”. There’s a lot of pressure to lose weight the “traditional” way. Lots of hard exercise. Lots of deprivation. It should be awful, and should consume every moment of every day.
But that’s not the reality I live in. I heard a message yesterday where the speaker talked about “spending” our time. He suggested that time is never spent, it is invested. He had members of the audience give him $23 in one dollar bills, and $1 in change. And in this message he showed that as we invest each hour of our day on things like sleeping, working, eating, commuting, showering, etc. We are often left with but a few short hours to really do anything significant. So what do we choose to do?
How do I want to invest my time?
I want to invest in the life of my child. He is so precious and wonderful that there are hardly words to describe my love for him.
I want to invest in my marriage. If more than 50% of marriages end in divorce, I have no desire to be a part of that statistic. I want my son to see that through good times and bad times, his parents stuck it out.
I want to invest in the Kingdom of God. Yes. In people who are hurting. In people who have heartache, and need the message of love and hope that Jesus Christ came to redeem. What a powerful message. To know that you are loved by an infinite God.
I want to invest in my relationship with God. Because my faith is not about religion. It is about a relationship with the God who created me and loves me.
How does all of this come from losing weight?
Because as the layers of fat have been peeled away, the layers of my own purpose and humanity have been exposed.
I feel a renewed hope in what God has called me to do. I have a renewed sense of mission and purpose.
And that, is a transformation.