Weigh in today? 159!!!!! I haven’t seen this weight on a scale since the summer of 2004. I am so thrilled with the results I am getting on Jumpstart to Skinny, that I cannot begin to explain.
I feel energetic.
I feel strong.
I feel like I can conquer the world.
This is the biggest mountain I have ever had to climb (not jumpstart, the whole weight loss journey). This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do. This has been the most healing journey of my faith walk so far. I have had some serious issues to deal with.
And to the glory of God, and only God, I am walking each day with the faith that I WILL complete what I set out to do. There is now no question in my mind. It’s not that God wants me to be “skinny”, He wants me to live a life focused fully on Him. He wants me to love Him, and love others, but if I couldn’t even love myself, how could I truly extend God’s grace and mercy and love to others? How could I say that God loves you (but I am not sure if He loves me….)?
These are the things I have been dealing with for the past 2.5 years. Issues that were wrapped up in the emotional reasons I was still overweight and obese. I have been dealing with the fears of being unworthy. The fears of being unloved. Weight does not determine your worth, or mine, but there are underlying emotional bags to deal with when you are obese. There is something not right.
I had a rough day yesterday. I wanted to eat icecream. I wanted to eat junk. We have candy in the house….I wanted to eat it. But saying it out loud. Calling it what it was provided a level of freedom that I cannot explain. I was able to say that I felt overwhelmed, scared, and anxious, and that because of it I wanted a gallon of icecream with caramel and whipped cream. But I knew that would not help the issues, so I was able to say no. I was able to turn to God instead. And today, I still feel a little overwhelmed by some things, but God is with me. He is with me. He loves me, and He will get me through it.
So Tuesday is my last day of this 3-week jumpstart. I am excited to see what happens next with my body. I am more excited to see what God does in my life through the testimony I have of His unfailing love and faithfulness.