For me this journey has been very personal, and the Lord has been showing me a lot about myself in the midst of it. I have been overweight or obese for at least half of my life off and on. I was ridiculed, teased, mocked, and made to feel unworthy for much of my childhood. I am almost 30 years old, and some of those wounds are so deep, that they are just now coming to the surface. This is a painful process. Yes, I love looking at my body and seeing the progress I am making. I loved to open that box and have most everything fit me. But there’s something more to this journey than simply the physical aspect. There is an emotional and spiritual one. There is a reliance on God in a new way. This journey didn’t start when I decided I wanted to lose weight. This journey didn’t start when the first pounds started coming off on the scale. This journey started when I asked God to change me. To transform me. It started when I was willing to dig deep and deal with those painful memories and to be rid of them once and for all. It started when I became willing to forgive. To forgive myself, and to forgive those who have hurt me. It really started when I went through celebrate recovery.
There is so much more to obesity than simply eating too much and exercising to little. These are simply symptoms of a more complicated problem. These are symptoms of the pains and hurts of life turned into a self-destructive pattern. A slow death by food. An emotional connection to food that leaves one feeling like they are not even worthy of a good and healthy life.
I am thankful for the abundant life God has given me. I am thankful for the opportunity to be healed emotionally of all these hurts. I am thankful that God cares enough to help me in this journey. Yes there is the physical aspect of my journey, but if in this process, I refused to work through the emotional, and to trust God wholeheartedly, I would not succeed. I would fail like every other time. And I would ultimately end up back at an obscenely high weight. My future depends on the choices I make right now. God says in Deuteronomy 30:19 “This day I call heaven and earth as witnesses against you that I have set before you life and death, blessings and curses. Now choose life, so that you and your children may live”. I want me and my children to live a life for God. I want to choose the way of life, not death, in more ways than one.
Have a Blessed Tuesday