Thursdays Thoughts::How did I get so fat???

Thursday is reserved for my thoughts. This can be what I think about me, to what I think about The Biggest Loser, or politics, or even my relationship with Jesus. I know that not everyone will have the same viewpoint as me, but really, if everyone thought like me, life could get a little boring. It would be like talking to myself all the time, and frankly, that’s just not that fun. All I ask is that comments are respectful. If they are not, well….I won’t post them. So there.

I’ve been doing some introspection these past few weeks, for many reasons. Other than the fact that I had a baby 3 months ago, there are reasons (not medical or genetic), why I have gotten this fat. I eat too much and exercise too little. But why? Why have I done that? That’s what the introspection is all about. I haven’t felt confident, I used food to make me feel better or to fill up the boredom, or I don’t even know. It’s been a challenging few years. It took a long time for us to have a baby. I felt so down because I thought it would never happen, that I was not worth it and that I would live in childless sadness forever. So I ate. I watched friends around me have beautiful babies, while my womb was barren. So I ate. My husband dealt with his own feelings and desire to be a daddy and we never talked to one another about how bad we felt. So I ate. I pretended it was all ok, while the whole time I felt sad. So I ate. I ate and I ate.

I started losing weight last year just before I got pregnant. I was on a roll, then came the pregnancy. The thing I had desired most, God had finally blessed us with. And I was scared, and I was excited, and I couldn’t believe it. But for some reason, I ate. I know I needed to eat more for baby, but the lack of exercise and the exhaustion of being pregnant took its toll on me. By my last trimester I would swell so bad that all I could do was go home, lay down a prop up my feet. It was bad. I was kinda depressed. So I ate. Are you getting the pattern?

But, that doesn’t have to be me anymore. I can go home and move, and enjoy my time with my son and my husband. I can choose to say no to more than 1 glass of coke at a restaurant and I can weigh 130 by the time I am 30. I hope your day is going great. I pray you would be blessed!

In Christ,

Kristi

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